nealrodriguez - 7:04 pm on Mar 23, 2009 (gmt 0)

i used to get these remarks when i started college. i found that you @ times use $50 words when your thoughts are generalized. you may want her to write exactly what she wants to communicate. you may want to have another writer, maybe a professor, proofread it for you and show her the remarks. i read some of the my early college papers and see how my writing would have been so much clearer if i used words with less syllables.

if you read how mainstream reporters write, they are both simple yet professional. her writing should be just as simple unless she is writing jargon for a profession-specific crowd, like a doctor releasing the exact findings of a study to a board of doctors. i kind of face the same obstacle when writing presentations for web-neophytes. i think that i am writing as simply as i can, but i find that even adjectives such as 'meta' need to be removed, and i should simply state that 'there are descriptions in your html code that need to be individualized.'