nell - 6:26 am on Oct 23, 2002 (gmt 0)

(1) The secret is to never finish any job. Start many projects at once to confuse the client. That way if one thing doesn't work you can blame it on something else not completed.
(2) Get them to assign a part time person in the company to assist you. That way you can pass mistakes and blame onto them.
(3) Once you have the signed contract in hand start selling the extras. Don't be shy. Remember you have the original signed contract to fall back on.
(4) Whenever visiting the client do so about 15 minutes before lunch time so they take you out to eat. Ask the waiter for a copy of the client's reciept so you can charge the meal off as your own business expense.
(5) Always collect monies owed by hand. Never depend on that check in the mail.

You couldn't ask for a better time to sign on with a client. Start pumping for the "Christmas" bonus, the "End of Year" bonus and the paid Holiday vacations (tell them you are Christian and your spouse is of another faith so you can double the paid time off). Start making suggestions for their Christmas gift to you. Push on the client Holiday candy your kids will be selling (buy that candy from Wal-Mart and resell to your client at a huge profit). I could go on forever.

The whole idea is to get the client so upside down from the get-go that they can't afford to fire you. I worked as a salesperson for a copy machine company once. The first day on the job I dropped one of their most expensive machines down a flight of stairs. Yes, they made small deductions from each of my pay checks to pay for it but, because the machine was so expensive, I was kept on the job for over a year. In fact, on the job longer than any other sales person. Owing to my eventual seniority and the fact that they forgot about the dropped machine, I was given a cushy job in public relations.