diberry - 4:10 pm on Nov 19, 2012 (gmt 0)
I totally sympathize with your frustration. It's miserable when you're trying to give them what they want, no matter the cost to you, but they won't just spell it out for you.
That said, I think it's very possible Google can't name the sites that violate their guidelines for legal reasons. If it got back to the other site, it could be actionable.
I also think Deadsea may be onto something - disavowing everything might cause Google to ignore the disavow file altogether. You should consider the advice to just disavow the links you're sure Google would consider spammy (directories, paid links, etc.) and leave the rest out, and see what happens there.
And again, it may just take a few weeks for them to register the disavow, as several people suggested.