Initially I got a little angry.. being American and all, but realized that what's being said here needs to be said.
Sorry if I've upset and angered any Americans. That wasn't the idea in the slightest! I'm victimising you due to the style of many of your infomercials and sales letters, not you personally! :-)
That being said- Heed the advice of others that have been there, but I'm a big fan of the "follow your gut" too. Know your target buyer and write to them.
Sometimes I think this is easier said than done. I mean, when you run a shop you can easily gauge your target demographic (you can SEE them for a start!) - on the web, anyone and everyone can be a potential customer.
Even though I have some trouble with conversions myself ;-) I think we can make this work. Let's re-write the "how to" books starting right here.
Agreed - as soon as I've found some decent web copy sales tips I'll let you all know - let's 'Share the wealth'
And I'll give a HUGE discount code to the first one to ...