lucy24 - 9:24 am on Apr 13, 2012 (gmt 0)

When asked, these same men agreed the women in the room looked younger after drinking two pints of beer.

That's either a Squinting Modifier or a Dangling Participle but I can never remember which is which. Am I supposed to drink the beer myself, or pour it into the best-looking guy in the room? And are those English pints or American pints? Not sure I've got room for the extra eight ounces. Or, if we're doing Option B, I need to make sure I have the right size funnel.

But seriously. How many combined graduate degrees did it take to figure out that

:: cue steel guitar ::

The girls all get prettier at closing time

et cetera?

. . .

Among classicists it is widely believed that hotels love hosting their conventions because classicists drink more than any other professional group except rock musicians, and they don't smash up the rooms.

Something tells me that the identical belief is also held by all other professional groups in the known universe.