Google: "Our algorithm is broken. The people exploit the freedom they have been given. You must confess when you cheat and violate the law of Google."
Google: "put the word 'nofollow' on links that might incur our wrath."
webmaster: "But I like my site how it is. I like the way we used to do links. We'd just link to stuff and that was it. What if I don't want to use this 'nofollow'?"
Google: "Then you shall suffer our wrath. We will withdraw traffic, reducing your income to a pittance."
webmaster: "Nofollow it is then."
Google: "One other thing. Many of your people are not as loyal to the Google as you. They trade sacred links for silver and gold. They do not use nofollow. You must report them to us at every opportunity."
webmaster: "What is the reward oh Great One?"
Google: "The pleasure of watching sinners burn in hell."
webmaster: "Thank you for your kindness and mercy, oh Google."