brotherhood_of_LAN - 6:08 pm on Jul 31, 2012 (gmt 0)
Sounds like you made progress....
3) the user you are connecting with has to be allowed to connect from a non-localhost machine.
That's the issue IMO. You need to look at GRANT PRIVILEGES for the user you are connecting with to allow them to connect from other IPs... a quick google will give you the relevant mysql manual page about granting privileges.