|Google's "Our Philosophy" - Let's Help Them with OUR Update|
| 4:50 am on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
Sicked and tired of Panda's and Farming, decided to re-read their "Do No Evil" Spiel, and couldn't help but help. Anyone else want to help finish this revised doc?
Ten things we know to be true
“The perfect search engine,” says co–founder Larry Page, “would understand exactly what you mean and give back exactly what GOOGLE WANTS.” When Google began, you WERE pleasantly surprised to enter a search query and immediately find the right answer. Google became successful precisely because we were better and faster at finding the right answer than other search engines at the time.
But technology has come a long way since then, and the face of the web has changed. Recognizing that search is a problem we ALREADY solved, we DECIDED to push the limits of our existing PHD’S to provide a fast, INACCURATE, SOMETIMES BIASED and CONSTANTLY REDESIGNED GUI TO JUSTIFY THE EXISTANCE OF THESE PHD’S, whether they’re at a desk in Boston or on a phone in Bangkok. We’ve also taken the lessons we’ve learned from search to tackle even more challenges LIKE PUTTING ROBOTS ON THE MOON.
As we keep looking towards the future, these core principles guide our actions.
1. Focus on BEING BETTER THAN YAHOO AND BING and all else IS IRRELEVANT.
Since the beginning, we’ve focused on providing the best user experience possible. Whether we’re designing a new Internet browser or a new tweak to the look of the homepage, we take great care to ensure that they will ultimately serve THE EGO’S OF THE SEARCH TEAM, AND OUR OWN internal goals AND bottom line. Our homepage interface is clear and simple, and CHANGES FREQUENTLY. Placement in search results is never sold to anyone EXCEPT THOSE FUNNY BLUE OR YELLOW BOXES, and OTHER advertising is PUSHED TO THE RIGHT WITH THE EXTREMELY LARGE TEXT SAYING “ADS” , HOWEVER WE ARE THINKING OF PUTTING THESE ADS IN THE FOOTER AS WE DON’T THINK WE SHOULD MAKE AS MUCH MONEY FROM THEM. And when we build new tools and applications, we believe they work so well THAT WE DON’T NEED TO consider ANY FEEDBACK FROM OUTSIDE THE PLEX – WHY WHEN WE HAVE A TEAM OF TRAINED LLAMAS IN PLACE.
| 5:25 pm on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
2. It's best to do one thing really, really well - we know that, but...
Our business plan also includes areas that have nothing to do with search. Our other targets include building a browser, replacing Microsoft Office, building your car, and soon... spaceships for everyone! After we finish terraforming Mars and all of Jupiter's moons, we will work on building Google's own red giant star from scratch, by compacting a critical mass of interstellar gas and dust.
[edited by: tedster at 8:06 pm (utc) on Mar 24, 2011]
| 6:07 pm on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
3. Fast is better than slow.
We know your time is valuable, so when you’re seeking an answer on the web you want it right away – and we aim to please. By shaving excess bits and bytes from our pages and increasing the efficiency of our serving environment, we’ve broken our own speed records many times over, so that the average response time on a search result is a fraction of a second. We've also made Google faster than everyone else by giving webmasters around the world snippets of code (like the Analytics and Adsense code) that slow down their websites. And then we make fun of them about it in Webmaster Tools.
| 6:27 pm on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
4. Democracy on the web works.
Google search works because it relies on the millions of individuals posting links on websites to help determine which other sites offer content of value. We assess the importance of every web page using more than 200 signals and a variety of techniques, including exceptions lists and other algorithmic nuances, which are necessarily implemented when our overly complicated view of the web and sites epically fails. As the web gets bigger, this approach actually improves, because there are more sites we really like and when we find a new site we want people to visit we add it to our 'algorithmically special' lists in order to count our democratically cast vote with a significantly higher weight than those cast by the often confusing signals we try to interpret. We do this algorithmically, of course, so it is done in all fairness. In the same vein, we are active in the open reporting of paid links, where innovation takes place through the collective reporting of many so-called rule breakers.
| 6:46 pm on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
5. You don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer.
The world is increasingly mobile: we want to know wherever you are, whenever we need it. We’re pioneering new technologies and offering new solutions for mobile services that allows us track you all over the globe and record any number of tasks you do on your phone, from checking email and calendar events to watching videos, not to mention the several different ways to to see what you search on Google over your phone.
In addition, we’re hoping to fuel greater innovation for mobile users everywhere with Android, a free, Open Spy mobile platform. Android brings the user tracking that shaped the Internet to the mobile world. Not only does Android benefit Google who has more choice in targeting right consumer with innovative new mobile advertising experiences, but it opens up revenue opportunities for carriers, manufacturers and developers.
| 7:44 pm on Mar 24, 2011 (gmt 0)|
6. Introducing Google Search Surprise (beta)
At Google, we often already know what you're looking for (or at least Eric thinks he does) before you search for it. Our predictive search technology is based in great part on your personal preferences, and tailored to your unique web browsing habits.
Google Search Surprise (beta) builds upon our highly successful predictive technologies, which means that you can rely on us to give your girlfriend, co-worker, or family member predictably differing results when forwarding them a link to any of your recent search results.
| 3:54 am on Mar 25, 2011 (gmt 0)|
7. Evil Search Results
Just because our goal is to "do no evil", that doesn't mean we won't help you do evil things. Need to find the latest movies before they are released? Want to download illegal software loaded with malware to help serve the botnets? Need a license key for that illegal download of Microsoft Windows or Office?
Not only does google provide the best search results, it also provides the most evil search results. Even better you can parter with google to make money with google adsense ads alongside DMCA infringing material. After all, money is the root of all... um... stockholders.
| 5:17 am on Mar 25, 2011 (gmt 0)|
10. Great just isn’t good enough.
We see being great at something as a starting point, not an endpoint. So we implements unfinished algorithms (which means to serve our exceptionally good sites) and then ask the small webmasters, how bout that honey? (you know the best part is when they actually start complaining :P) Through lobbying and bullying, we aim to make things work well and improve in unexpected ways. For example, when one of our engineers saw that yelp is better than us, we wondered about how to screw it and that led him to threaten Yelp in an intuitive and more helpful way.
Even if you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, finding an answer on the web is OUR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS. SO WHATEVER WE GIVES YOU AGAINST YOUR QUERY, YOU BETTER TAKE IT as WE try to anticipate needs not yet articulated by our global audience, and meet them with products and services that set new standards. With our newest panda update we have successfully shifted $1 Billion in Revenue to Large Publishers and Those are the kinds of changes we seek to make, and we’re always looking for new places where we can make a difference by bullying & threatening. Ultimately, our "exceptionally good sites" constant dissatisfaction with the way things are becomes the driving force behind everything we do. And Ofcourse WE HAVE BETTER BRAINS THAN YOU.