Got Home from a few days away to be greeted with a Card from my wife and daughter. It's a series of cards actually:
For your birthday, we thought you could use a little adventure.
We decided you should spice up your life a little by.....
Actually, it wouldnt be much of an adventure if we told you...
So instead, you need to follow the instructions guide enclosed.
WARNING: Any deviation from the specific instructions listed below could result in an adventure gone wrong!
1) On Friday, March 4th at 9:00am sharp you must meet your guides at the front door. Your attire should be comfortable and weather appropriate. You MUST be wearing a baseball cap. This item MUST be worn backwards.
2) This adventure has a duration of 3 days and you will arrive back at your original departure point on Monday March 7th at 5:30pm. Therefore we would like to suggest that you tie up any business matters you may need to attend to at this time.
although a laptop is permitted if you so desire, you will need to consult with your guides as to when it is appropriate to use. Thank you in advance for your co-operation in this matter.
3) Please make sure that you have your glasses and you wallet on your person when you meet your guides. You will be forfeiting these items upon departure. They will be returned when required.
Although you may want to ask questions of your wife or your daughter you will find this futile. No matter how many time you may find yourself saying "Ok now, I'm serious", or making the "eyebrow" face, they will not be helpful and have been sworn to secrecy.
Ok, so what the hell are these girls up too?