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This 40 message thread spans 2 pages: 40 ( [1] 2 > >     
Significant Other and Time on PC?

 1:07 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

How many run into a problem with their S/O and the amount of time they spend in front of the computer?
I know I get a lot of pouts and grumbling when I spend a lot of time on here and the minute I turn the darn contraption off and he has my full attention he'll wander off and go do something else, leaving me frustrated and wondering what the heck is going on.
If I have my headphones on and music blaring creating sites I am in my element and feel 100% normal.
Seems I am in a minority among friends, but I love my PC, but don't neglect other facets of my life..
How do you deal with your S/O and their resentment of the PC?



 1:11 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

Any cute females that have this problem - let me know - I have great internet access where I am and you can use as much as you want....


 1:38 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

i solved that problem by putting my laptop by the couch when we watch tv. <G>

Marketing Guy

 1:40 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

Try asking for your parnters input on a site - a test run?

Or perhaps setup an information based on their interests or hobby - so they could work with you on it, while learning more about what you do?

Scott :)


 1:44 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

I've only had to deal with it a little bit, my SO is generally very supportive since he realizes the only way we have money to do the things we want is because of me. I've combatted the feelings by plugging in the laptop in the living room and sitting on the couch with him (this is helpful for me as well, I can tune out Star Trek and SportsCenter while working :) ) Also by planning special things on weekends for us to do as a family. It's better during the warmer months I think since I feel better and want to be outside. I think the biggest helper is getting your SO engaged in their own "hobbies" or something they enjoy doing, that can be done while you are working. What I think it comes down to though is that they are jealous that you LOVE your work! My husband can't imagine loving what he does, but he actually likes watching me work because that's when I'm happiest.


 2:11 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

I'm partial to bribes; 2 weeks travel in Europe bracketing London PubCon and offers from friends here to meet in just about any city in the world for a restaurant/pub crawl has helped a great deal.


 8:23 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

i solved that problem by putting my laptop by the couch when we watch tv.

Add a wireless network into the mix and you're home free ...


 8:45 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

I work online while he works on restoring his 67 olds.

Sundays are our cartoon, coffee and nothing days -I think set time and days for absolute hang-out time is essential.


 8:52 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

My husband's a house husband. As long as he gets to stay home and not work, he doesn't care how much time I spend in front of a computer screen. :)


 9:02 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

Too funny..

I'm in my office and the better half (SlyGal) just came in to have a cigarette with me. I'm flipping through a few threads on WebmasterWorld and ran across this one. She made me stop, so we could read it.

I spend a lot of time on the computer, for business and personal reasons. Sometimes too much, I admit. I've tried to find a balance between time spent on the computer and time spent doing other things, but as Felina put it "I am in my element and feel 100% normal" when in front of the geek box.

She understands and that helps. She's passionate about other things and we support and respect each others differences and interests.

(I'm also saying this because she's sitting right beside me and told me to say it ;))

- Chad


 9:12 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

My significant other is seated in front of the PC on the other side of the room from me. She conducts "keyword shopping tests" while I work. One of the kids is on the PC upstairs doing homework. All the PCs are on the same LAN, connected to the same WAN. I can check on the kid's homework progress and take peeks at my mounting credit card bill without getting up. ;)

During busy periods everyone pretty much leaves me alone in the den but I occasionally get an instant message telling me that dinner is done.

There are currently 5 PCs hooked up to the network, makes it easy to get into a good battle on Age Of Wonders 2.


 9:17 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

3 words that say I love you: "Wanna sync Palms"?

Put his/her schedule into your palm or day timer. You have to budget time for it.


 10:41 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

hehe. I suspect that the amount of time I spend on my computer working is directly related to the fact that I'm single ;) I just need to find a SO that can appreciate the amount of time I spend online (or spend just as much time online himself), lol.


 10:51 pm on May 5, 2003 (gmt 0)

My husband quit complaining about the time I spend online when I paid off his truck loan with affiliate earnings. ;)


 12:48 am on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

My spouse spent about 80% of his free time in front of the computer. I was the neglected SO you're talking about.

The problem was easily solved - he's now the ex-spouse, and he doesn't have anyone grumbling at him trying to get his attention anymore. ;)


 8:21 am on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

Hmm, an interesting range of replies.
I have already tried the special bribes, extra time, buying him all sorts of toys and nothing seems to help so far.
I think it may be a bit of jealousy due to the fact that I actually love doing this, and it's making a fair amount of money as well.
Oh well, this is me, this is what I do, I love it and live with it..:-)
Summer's coming, time to get busy and have fun.


 12:26 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

It has been my experience that finding a man who can deal with the fact that you make more money and you have a fun job is difficult. Men's egos tend to be overblown (not always, I am sure every man on this forum is a kind, understanding, humble guy) My husband is great about it and that is why I married him but prior to him...

Well, let's just say that if your SO doesn't understand your job and love of it then perhaps it is time to upgrade to SO 2.0.


 12:36 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

After a day at work in front of the computer (most days at least), I get home and then she wants me to go with her to the nearest Internet cafe to check her email.... I won't have one in the house, worse than satellite TV for destroying a relationship. I like to get home and talk and not sit infront of a screen.


 12:53 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

When I was working 60+ hours a week online, I tried to interest hubby in computers. No interest.

Got him a side job doing hardware installs, which he loved, but then he found out he'd have to re-boot and use a mouse. He put up with that for only so long, then he was dying to Un-retire from the Army. Hated mouse-work.

We bought voice recognition software so he wouldn't have to learn to type (bad move..it took longer to train the software than it would have to learn to type!) He couldn't stick with it, usually would get as far as reading e-mail, but reply with, "hey, let me phone you, ok?"

I was delighted he was getting into this century, until he made a lady friend he thought was "interesting".

"She" didn't understand computers either, she liked to bake, garden, and can fruit she grew in her small orchard. She did needlepoint. Her mail was full of admiration for a guy who wanted direct communication, not electronics.


<delete mail account>

I'm much happier if he doesn't use the computer thank you. Here honey, enjoy your remote control, I hear Fear Factor is on tonight...

I may be a nerd, but an Idiot I am not <grin>
Dian :)


 6:37 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

MY SO used to complain in the beginning... when you start and no money coming in and time going out. But, when I tripled his 40 hour a week pay, things got a lot easier ;).

His main goal now is to be a househusband... which he gets to do after Christmas - after he gets his brand new motorcycle for being so patient with me ;).

He is very secure with me earning more than him... he wants to stay home with the kids so I have more FULL attention for work and am not working weird hours of the night because I can't get much done with the kids here during the actual day :).


 10:21 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

Usually if there's a real conflict, it means I need to assess either the SO or the time I spend. That is, I've been where Hawkgirl has been- and after deciding (purely personal and not a reflection on anyone here) that living with a workaholic (even one who made great money and outside of work, was a pretty nice guy) no longer worked for me, I spent some time on my own.

Life too short, you know?

Now, though, I'm married to a great guy who's actually understanding and respectful of the sometimes late and weird hours I put in (twist of fate) so if I see it happening too much, I'll just try to re-think things like: could I take an hour off for a break or a walk with SO and the dogs? will the world fall apart if I go off-line on the weekend for 24 hours? and usually find the answers are yes (to the first) and no (to the second)...

still working on the balance. :)

although I suspect men can be slightly simpler in their pleasures (easier to please) than women... (I only say this with regard to creating a life that's mutually rewarding.)


 10:26 pm on May 6, 2003 (gmt 0)

simpler in their pleasures (easier to please) than women

you tryin to start somethin homegirl ;)

I have been pretty lucky, my girlfriends have been understanding about the time i spend with my computer.

Even more impressive considering they would ask questions and be interested and still keep their eyes from glazing over because not one of them has known anything about computers, let alone programming.


 4:03 pm on May 7, 2003 (gmt 0)

LOL... I suspect the "impressiveness" also has something to do with the quality of company that jatar's girlfriends keep.

But seriously, in the former relationship (ex), I could do a lap dance and not have him blink an eye except to reposition his arms so he could keep coding.

In the current relationship, there's mutual thankfulness. If you can make your SO feel truly special, respected, desirable, and loved, I think the time on the PC you spend (or other potential conflicts) get accepted or worked out.


 4:54 pm on May 7, 2003 (gmt 0)



 9:53 am on May 8, 2003 (gmt 0)

I get:

"Oh, more bills. We really need more money."

Two minutes go by.

"Are you *still* working?"


 4:02 pm on May 8, 2003 (gmt 0)

Every girlfriend that I have had with the exception of my new one couldn't understand why I spent so much time... I think most of the problem was, I really couldn't explain, I would just say "coding". Chalk that up to another life's lesson! I have now learned to bring her in and let her see what these... ahem... ten fingers can do. ;)


 4:22 pm on May 8, 2003 (gmt 0)

We don't argue over the amount of time spent on the computer so much as we argue about how that time is spent.

I feel that I spend my time learning and doing things that will eventually make me a living. He wastes his time on games and making graphics and stuff for people he doesn't even know for free. Spends time on useless forums full of kids seeing how many cuss words they can spell.

The worst was a domain I had bought to put a web design site on. I hadn't done anything with the domain yet because I'm not ready. Still learning CSS, etc.

Anyway I discovered that he had built an entire Sims site for someone for free for some stranger he met on one of the useless forums, put the site on my server and used the domain name I had bought. So now as far as I'm concerned the domain is ruined as it got Googled with this stupid Sim site on it. I also don't think my web host would have appreciated this "donation" of his bandwidth had he noticed it since my domain is sitting there free of charge until I get a site built and it starts to make money. He's a personal friend of mine but not my SO and would never give his server space away to some stranger.


 9:43 pm on May 8, 2003 (gmt 0)

I get constant complaints about the fact that all I ever do is push buttons, This from an unemployed draughtsman who never learnt CAD and relies on me to pay the bills. I do a day job and supplement the household income with website work.


 8:52 am on May 9, 2003 (gmt 0)

used the domain name I had bought. So now as far as I'm concerned the domain is ruined as it got Googled with this stupid Sim site on it.

Oh Man..bless your heart... but that's TOO funny! and he lived?

(Won't go into the details of justifiable homocide)

Dian :)


 6:42 pm on May 9, 2003 (gmt 0)

My SO works hard on the computer all the time. He's always connected to the Internet on the couch via laptop and wireless network. The good thing is that I'm online all the time too doing school work and SEO stuff for my own job. We share articles and funny things we stumble across all the time! It all works out quite well.

This 40 message thread spans 2 pages: 40 ( [1] 2 > >
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