so I guess this type of software is rare. even this post is 11th in google now. should be in the top 10 by next month, keeping my fingers crossed :) O well I might just have to write it myself thanks for your time
osCommerce can do what you're looking for with a contribution added but the current version is a bit cumbersome to wrap your head around and work with. If you can then you'll have a good cart to work with and can customize it to suit your needs.