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Email Spam 101
Dear e-mail spammers

 11:51 am on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

1. Send an e-mail to the recipient, from the recipient.
2. The bank's name absolutely must be misspelt.
3. The court case the recipient is to attend should not be anywhere they have ever been, and nowhere near their present location.
4. Recipients will really want to hear about the winnings in the lottery they've never entered, especially if it's run by major companies not in the lottery business.
5. Do send messages in a foreign language from the recipient's native language.
6. Attach malware to messages so that it keeps the anti-virus companies on their toes.
7. Send private individuals orders for business goods.
8. Make payment refunds for really big figures, certainly in millions. Many people won't get out bed for less than a million.
9. Use capitals for either the sender name or the subject, preferably both.
10. In the e-mail body, people you don't know must be addresses as "My Dearest"
11. Send e-mails from Ban Ki-moon as recipients are sure they've been in correspondence with them and are awaiting their response.



 11:58 am on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

12. Introduce email with "Dear Customer, our records show that ..."


 12:01 pm on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

13. or "Hi Dearest, Glad to hear that you're on the market for rattan sofa" :)


 12:02 pm on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

14. Ensure the messages are spun to such a degree that only Gogie can read itů


 5:28 pm on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

15. Make sure you don't update the values of the variables in your template. Most people prefer to be addressed by "$recipient" than their real name.


 5:57 pm on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

LIA beat me to it.


 7:09 pm on Jul 18, 2014 (gmt 0)

5. Do send messages in a foreign language from the recipient's native language.

Bonus points if the subject line is in a script that the sender has no reason to expect the recipient to know. My spam folder would be a lot thinner each morning-- and the Trash folder fatter-- if I could just screen out \p{Han} upfront.

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