|Why we are so confused by Google algo updates.|
This is a joke, but very appropriate for webmaster confusion!
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and It won! The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey That he entered it in the next race, And it won that race too. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of Publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another races.
The next day the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS”.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted The following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN!
The Bishop fainted … He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey as soon as possible. So she sold it to a local farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10”.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the Donkey, and take it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is ... Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier
And live longer!
Code your site for your users, not the Bishop!
Way to make this relevant tangor.
The bishop dies, Google doesn't. :(
|The bishop dies, Google doesn't. |
Wasn't there a time just a few years ago when AOL seemed poised to take over the world? What ever happened to them, anyway?
There are some jokes that send me off on a hair-splitting search for accuracy. Usually its a scientific, geographical, cultural or historical fact.
This time, it was whether a bishop can give orders to a nun, because she would be answerable to her superiors in her order. After some Googling, I am pretty sure the answer is almost always no.
So, from the time the priest sells the donkey, you need to substitute her mother superior for the bishop.
If you think I am hair splitting, you should see the thread I found (on a forum about the English language) on the definitions of "priest", "vicar", and "pastor" (I was checking that because the use of the term pastor in a church that has bishops seemed a bit odd to me).
|Code your site for your users, not the Bishop! |
My users need to find my site in order to become my users.
|This time, it was whether a bishop can give orders to a nun |
Depends on the order. There's one order of, as it were, free-lance nuns, where each individual sister is answerable only to a bishop.
That's assuming Catholic nuns. Nobody outside the UK ever thinks C of E when they hear the word "nun".
Here I think we have to stipulate that the donkey was given to the convent as a whole, because members of religious orders aren't generally allowed to own significant personal property.
|the definitions of "priest", "vicar", and "pastor" |
Depends on church and region, surely. One of my few personal calques is the generic use of "priest" for any clergyman. "Vicar" is specifically a C of E concept isn't it? You're either a vicar or a curate. If you're a curate, you have too many children and you're a minor character in a novel.
You're either a vicar or a curate.
Or a rector. I used to know the distinction, something to do with tithes I seem to remember.
These days vacancies for vicars and rectors aren't filled directly but a "priest in charge" is put in instead. Not sure of the distinction there, I imagine that s/he doesn't acquire some of the legal protections that a vicar or rector has.
So where does the parson fit into all this?
Or did he have a prior engagement?
Maybe it was too subtle... he's the webmaster attempting to answer every new algo change... all the rest is what happens when such changes filter down.
A vicar, a curate, a rector and a parson walk into a bar ...
... where they meet an actress and a bishop. ;)
|A vicar, a curate, a rector and a parson walk into a bar... where they meet an actress and a bishop. |
A few minutes later, a nun and a pastor walk in, leading a donkey.
At a signal from the bishop, the actress pulls a saddle out of her bag and starts putting on a suit of armour.
"What's all this, pray?" enquires the pastor.
The actress just smiles and says:
"I'm gonna get medieval on your ass".
I assume that the bishop is the Google algo? Every time he changes things it solves the current problem and creates a new one.
The difference between a bishop and Google is that bishops are not scary, whereas webmasters are often terrified of Google. The bishop has to be one of those weird early modern ones, and probably a Borgia.
If we have to explain it . . .