It is one thing for the cat to walk across the keyboard while I'm typing, causing me to say something that makes me look like an idiot. (Hello? Moderator? Please replace all occurrences of "be sure you always without fail" with "you must never, ever".)
It is one thing for the (elderly) cat to ### on the un-cleanable keyboard, which proves to be so full of cat hair that it was overdue for replacement anyway, especially since I never liked it in the first place. (This happened last month.)
It is quite another thing for the cat to fall off the shelf over the computer table, knocking the iMac headlong onto my favorite Carolina chair, shattering the screen and breaking two slats of the chair. This happened tonight while I was at the library.
End result of exhaustive search through tool chest: tube of barge cement, which had better do its job because I can't find the epoxy.
End result of exhaustive internet search: YouTube video assuring me it's a snap, and $59.99 plus shipping at frankly-I-don't-care-if-you're-an-authorized-reseller-or-not.