|smells so good|
You are going to LOVE strained beets out the nose.
This happened when my daughter was about 9 months old. I can hear she just got up from her nap and I went in her room to get her. As soon as I walked in the room I was overwhelmed with the most awful smell,"poop".
My daughter somehow managed to remove her "poop" diaper and began playing in her "poop". She managed to get it all over her sheets, bumber pad, blankets and herself, including her head. I was so grossed out I had to have my wife take care of the situation.
The face on your 5 year old daughter who just ate some watermelon and needs to go to the bathroom really, really bad. And, there isn't a bathroom close enough to avoid the inevitable. Always keep a spare change of clothes in the car, always! Oh, and some wipees too. ;)
Just think, she may be doing the same thing for me in another 30 years. ;)
[edited by: pageoneresults at 10:31 pm (utc) on Jan. 19, 2007]
Embarrasing? When my sweet little 2.5 year old daughter kicks her playmate in the face because she wants her to get off the play structure. Or pushes a boy down and makes him cry.
Of course, we teach her to share, we NEVER snatch things from her etc. Has nothing to do with us. That's just crap she learns from watching the other kids. Especially when that behavior is the exception and not the rule, the humiliation is not complete until someone's mother scowls at you.
Embarrasing, let's see...
2.5 year old Daughter: Guess what?
Grandma: What, little pumpkin?
2.5 year old Daughter: Catt Butt!
Grandma with a face like she sucked a lemon: Oh... my!
Then she follows up with grandma butt, grandpa butt, mommy butt, and so on. Yeah, yeah, I taught her the cat butt thing. But the grandma butt thing she invented on her own. lol
You know you're a parent when you find yourself openly discussing topics that make your single friends turn green. . .like the poop my daughter managed to put in my spouse's mouth during diaper changing time, or the chunks we had to clean out from the crevices of the car after another vomiting episode, or the ketchup in the applesauce that my daughter thinks is yummy - and we're just glad she's getting one of her fruit requirements.
You know you're a parent when your single friends stop hanging out with you because you're regularly using words like "potty," "boogey," or "stinky." (or yummy :) Also, when they realize you can't drop everything to jaunt to the mountains (to the beach, to the wherever) with a one-hour notice.
But parenthood is worth the headache a thousand times over when those little arms go around your neck, hug you tight and your sweet child tells you she loves you so much. And would you please just read 3 more books and sing that same silly song again?
you find that the child-rearing advice that you dispensed so easily when you were single doesn't work.
You you know you're a parent when...
...you feel good about changing a dirty diaper.
...your two year old accidently pokes you in the eye and you tell her it's okay (I've got a second eye).
...you stare into a sick child's eyes and wish it was you that was sick and not her.
...you get a smile on your face when someone screams Daddy's home!
When your sweet three year-old daughter says to the nice elderly lady,
"I don't want your effing cookie".
Or when your six year-old daughter answers your mother-in-law's phone call and yells,
"It's the crazy lady again'.
When you stop asking yourself when this kid's parents are going to come and pick him/her up.
guaranteed that one day you will do a last minute diaper change before getting into the car to go to a wedding or something and the miserable wretch will spray a bladder full on your best dress/suit.
it will be funny by the next day.
i have one of each and was similarly blessed by the male and the female.
family legend has it that my first visit to my pediatrician involved a direct hit on his eyeglasses.
> Catt Butt!
I learned it as "chicken butt." However, I'm glad to learn that "cat butt" works just as well.
OMG! how many times have I done that! ok TMI but even with his diaper leaked and I was just up 1 hour earlier for 3 hours feeding and putting him back to sleep! drove me nuts! or when your out and you didnt bring an extra shirt knowing your kid spits up and you go into stores and people look at your like what happened to her? oh wow. i havent thought about that in almost 2 and a half years!
My niece of 18 months has just grown her first razor sharp teeth, she looks real cute an cuddly, which of course she lets you do to her, then she slids down as if to get off.
Then Pow shes got you! Sinks her fangs into your arm and just hangs there, its like trying to remove a clam getting her off, shes drawn blood etc in the past.
Weird thing is she only does it to people when im around and she always grins at me after doing it.
Needless to say im not a popular vistor to my brother and his wifes house.
Your 8 year old daughter finds a book in the school library explianing how children are conceived, and if that wasn't bad enough, then asks when you and mummy did it!
(It's true, honest).
You know you're a parent when: you ask you know you're a parent when. ;)
When my daughter was around 2, she was sick. I was holding her in my lap, in the office, on the phone with a prospective client, when she unexpectedly threw up all over both of us. I made a quick excuse to the lady I was talking with - and hosed my daughter and I down and cleaned us up. Yuk. Never did work with that lady, guess she didn't have kids.
On a lighter note, my daughter, now 5, said something really funny at the air show last fall. There was a cool WWII fighter with a buxom blonde painted on the side - she was topless. My daughter saw her and said, "Look! she's got mommy bumps!" We laughed so hard. ;)
.....When you don't mind being drooled on because curdled milk spit-up is SO much worse ;)
|You know you're a parent when your daughter pees and spits up on your bed |
When your child pees and spits up on the bed at Embassy Suites, soaking the mattress in the middle of the night.
[edited by: Jane_Doe at 7:20 am (utc) on Jan. 29, 2007]
You know you're a parent when you take your baby daughter by the elbow to cross the street and she says to you, "Mom, I'm 21 years old, I know how to cross the street by myself."
You also know you know that you are an parent when you call your son and he is drunk and 15 years old, you pick him up anf he get mad at you because he want to be with his friend, but you take him home, and after some hours you go and talk to him and discover that he is not home. You call him again and he is out with the boys again, now you are upset, you take the car and looking for him but you not find him, you send an sms and say you are giong home now, but you get one back that says iam sleeping at a friend.
But after that you get an sms that he write I love you dad, its hard to be a parent and its harder to be an teenage, this happend me this weekend.
|now you are upset (emphasis supplied) |