i love those e-mails from Nigerians, but you cannot count them as customers.
My favourites book with us rooms with very strict cancellation policy (the rate is very low and therefore no cancellations possible, in fact). Of course, they want to cancel 3 days prior to arrival and are so angry they will be charged full price.
They always try to prove that information about strict cancellation policy is hidden or is not shown on the site while it is presented to them at least twice before they book.
So tough to prevent myself from replying in a "sorry, our site is not for idiots. you must be able to read when you use our site" way...
"I'm on your site, and it says here that this product is compatible with my widget."
"So will it work with my widget?"
"This other product, it says here it will work with my widget too."
"Yes, as will all other products on that page."
"So this will work with my widget?"
[press hold button and scream]
I am advertising editor for a small magazine. Most copy dates somebody will get my number off the site to ask me what the copy date is or what our rates are. My phone number is on the page with copy dates and advertising rates.
After the consultation visit for deciding what the commercial website is going to comprise of, how much it will cost how many pages etc.. Successfully getting them signed on with us and collecting half down payment, I get this email.
"Some key points which will have to be included somewhere in the site:"
... and goes on to list 13 different things (including eCom) that weren't discussed AT ALL during the initial consultation.
Folks trying to change the scope of the project after money has changed hands.. Drives me batty.
Change orders are very profitable.
That's where builders make most of their money, since change orders do not go out for bid.
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My own favorite is emails that look something like this.
"I have a new website [ no url included ], how much would it cost to appear on the first page of all of the search engines.
Please send me ya detailed estimate by email.
Senders email is email@example.com
Sure they are, but this customer wasn't interested in changing the $.
"I decided I don't really need the <product> I ordered from your website 6 months ago and would like a full refund to my credit card. Please send UPS to pick it up. Sorry, but I don't have the original packaging so they will need to bring a box with them."
Are these prices negotiable?
Can I bargain?
I am going to buy two widgets from your site. As you will pack it together, I will pay shipping for only one.
You promised delivery in 3-4 days, today is the third day , and I have not received my consignment.
( I promised dispatch within 3-4 days , lady and two of the days you mention are saturday and sunday)
"Please ring the doorbell, there is a thief in the area."
I gets even funnier because we are on the west coast, they are on the east. :-)
However, I responded by adding signature confirmation to the ordering process. Whatever . . . :-)
1. Dear Company,
I purchased a piece from you a few weeks ago and have lost it - please send a replacement or refund.
2. Dear Company,
I purchased a cheap plastic item from you for £1.50 6 months ago and it is broken - please send me a replacement or refund.
3. Dear retail Company,
Please could you send me some free samples?
4. Dear Company,
I can buy the same item for half the price elsewhere.
Got a new one today:
"Please change my e-mail address."
Sent, of course, from the new e-mail address, with no mention of name or old e-mail address.
I purchased a piece from you a few weeks ago and have lost it - please send a replacement or refund - Are you serious?
My own fav from several years ago.
'Ive checked with the royal mails tracking system and it says the item is in their Chelmsford depot, what are you going to do about it?'
This lady did indeed email and thank me when the order turned up even though it was still showing as in Chelmsford, she ordered a s econd one, however she did a charge back for both items.
[edited by: Essex_boy at 8:35 pm (utc) on Feb. 21, 2007]
My main site has plastered all over the contact page read the F.A.Q before emailing or phoning.... and I mean all over.
Typical day for me:
Cutomer 1: Do you accept credit cards
Me: Please see the F.A.Q. page for all payment methods
Customer 2: Do you dispatch at weekends?
Me: Please see our F.A.Q page and most other pages for dispatch times
Customer 3: Can I pay by cheque?
Me: Please see the F.A.Q. page for all payment methods
Customer: What are your postage charges?
Me: Please see the F.A.Q. page and most other pages for details
Customer: Will you deliver to *insert* country:
Me: Please see the F.A.Q. page for details
Customer: Which widget do you recommend?
Me: Please see our F.A.Q. for our recommendations
This list really does go on and on and on and on.
Maybe 1 or 2 emails or phonecalls a week isn't answered on the F.A.Q. page. Drives me nuts!
My Experience is that customers never read FAQ pages, or some days it feels that way.
Maybe they are just lonely, and need to call somebody.
My favorite customers are those who seem to think that I do the deliveries personally: Hello, I ordered some products from your website. If I am not at home could you please lay down the package at the cellar entrance at the back of the carport. Thank you.
You mean you dont!
Just experienced a first this weekend - had a customer demanding undelivered goods or a refund. Couldn't trace their order or payment, so asked them to forward a copy of the order confirmation email. Turns out they had ordered from a completely different company (whose site looks completely different to mine)!
Aside - I have two web sites selling similar things - one is completely dark grey with light text and the other white with purple text - two completely different layouts, two completely different URL's. I get lots of customers who can't tell the difference between one of my sites and the other. And all that time and effort spent on website design .:)
|Turns out they had ordered from a completely different company |
Yes, that happens to us often. What's worse, when we tactfully point this out to the customer, it's our fault!
|My Experience is that customers never read FAQ pages, or some days it feels that way. |
Possibly true but I generally mail a store before purchasing something from them for the first time. I bet most of the answers are covered in the FAQs but I like to check their customer care.